You might be a Pilgrim if…

(Disclaimer: No infringement intended, just taking it out for a spin. Promise to bring it back in one piece. Thanks for sharing!)
* the fire alarm goes off and you’re not dressed yet
* you tire of sharing the WC with members of the opposite gender
* your sink is full of icky water and your room looks like a Laundromat
* you share 2 WC’s and 2 showers with everyone on your floor
* you’re thrilled to have TP and running water, even if there’s no soap or hand dryer
* you’ve determined 5 or more ways to use your blue scarf
* on your next trip, no matter where you’re going, you pack the following: TP, hand sanitizer, cold and motion-sickness medicine, cough drops, Kleenex, bread, wine and a blue scarf
* you look for blue scarves in a crowd
* you attempt to leave your blue scarf behind because it’s too hot, but realizing that it’s the only way you’ll be identified if lost, you take it with you
* you can fit three weeks worth of clothing et. al. into a small suitcase and backpack
* you realize you have enough clean clothes to last through the end of the trip and quit doing laundry or start throwing stuff out
* you’re forced to wear damp sox and underwear because they didn’t have time to dry out at the hotel last night
* you learn to eat your largest meal at 8pm or later
* you eat meals not much to your liking because you didn’t know what you ordered and were starving
* pointing, smiling and grunting are your only means of communication
* you’ve learned to walk safely in a moving bus
* on long bus transfers you exercise by doing pull ups on the handle over the back door
* you hide your nametag to avoid people recognizing you
* you catch a cold the day you leave, it goes away the day you return
* your souvenirs of chintzy religious items and wine cause your suitcase to overflow
* you raid the souvenir shop for postcards of pictures you weren’t allowed to take
* you dream about saints
* breakfast at 6:15am is not your cup of tea
* you get on a bus at 6:45am for an audience with the Pope
* you cheer when the WC sign goes off on the bus
* bus drivers are applauded for making tight corners and safely driving what most would call a bobsled course
* you’re thrilled to hear others nearby speaking your native language
* fellow Pilgrims expect a morning hug
* the shower curtain tries to attack you! (and you can’t escape because taking a step in any direction means you’re out of the shower)
* You wish your bidet was a towel rack, counter top, or extension of your shower
* Laundry soaks in the bidet while you brush your teeth at the sink
* You know multiple ways to flush
* The auto-flush toilets flush 3 times and flood the stall before you have a chance to sit down
* The glowing clock on the bus is your atomic clock
* You enter your new hotel room scanning for possible laundry hanging locations
* You wake up with a random pattern on your face after falling asleep on the bus
* You’re not surprised to find bread on the table
* 12-16 hour days are the norm and you are snippy before morning coffee and after the 10 hour mark
* you’re thankful to find the two who followed directions and waited at the meeting place rather than going to the bus
* playing cribbage on the bus means casino to the guide (gambling)
* the front window of your house has a stuffed kangaroo, sunglasses and a Rosary in it
* you look for a washcloth in your room
* there’s no heat or hot water in your room
* you get ‘Yes,’ ‘No’, ‘Please,’ and ‘Thank you,’ in multiple languages confused
* if you enter a moving vehicle and three persons hand you a small white bag
* your cities, saints and basilicas are all mixed up
* you want to stand, move or stretch, but are trapped
* you want to sit down and you’re being herded
* 24 hour plane travel days bracket several days of many hours on a bus
* you can’t wait for a hamburger and fries with ketchup and root beer
* people stop emailing you because they realize you have no/limited internet access
* you learn to exercise while seated
* a second security check is required at a transfer point causing everyone to be a half hour later than they already were
* airport lock down leaves you stuck in customs for 45 minutes, yet immigration is allowed to send another 200 people down from the next plane, thus putting them in danger as well?
* the connection to your bus doesn’t work causing multiple phone calls and further delay
* you’re crazy enough to attend a party the night you return in hopes of keeping yourself awake until such time as you would normally sleep. The party goes much later.